It kills me just a little inside when these dumb bitches on facebook post videos of Skinny Love - Bon Iver. They say things like “OmGG!!!! Love HIM!!” and “This song is soooo good,” like they just discovered it (which they probably did). It makes me mad because they only like it because society is telling them to like it, since they gave him two awards at the Grammys. Normally their favorite songs would be from people like Katy Perry and Chris Brown. It kills me that he was in the same category as Nicki Minaj.

I hate to be a snob or a hipster or whatever… but Bon Iver’s music means so much to me. I remember the first time I heard the song “Blood Bank” nearly four years ago and I fell in love. He is definitely not a new artist by any stretch, and to give him that, it seems like they completely disregard the masterpiece that was For Emma, Forever Ago.

I usually hate when people say stuff like this, because it’s like “Oh, well I liked him first!!” Well aren’t you fucking special? But for Bon Iver it’s different, because his music really does have a special place in my heart… and to see some of the dumbest girls at my school posting his songs all over Facebook with “omg” comments just seems so wrong.

Last night did not really work out well for me. I smoked too much, was forced to eat, forced to listen to shitty music and was around people i’m not comfortable with. The result? Me not wanting to smoke again for a very long time, if ever. About 10 minutes in we were in the kitchen, standing and eating cookie dough. I could barely stand up and my muscles felt like spastic jello. About 30 minutes in I started freaking the fuck out. My mind was racing with paranoid/anxious thoughts. Pretty much all of my fears, worries, concerns came right to the top of my mind. I had to keep telling myself in my head that I was fine, but it was really hard to calm down. I just sat there completely petrified while my friends continued talking, eating and listening to shitty music. After I finally started to feel a little better my eye began to itch and it felt like there was a hive or something on it. I went to look at myself in the bathroom mirror and see that one of my eyelids had completely swelled up. My face looked so disfigured. It was horrible.

All I know is that assumptions are very dangerous. You begin to assume things about a person and how they might feel, they do the exact same thing, and you end up hating each other or missing out on some kind of connection you two could have had. It happens ALL the time— friends, potential love interests, etc.

I also know that empathy can be a curse. Sometimes it sucks knowing exactly how someone is feeling, especially if those feelings hurt you. They can’t tell you because they know this, yet you realize it anyway.  I feel way too much, yet not enough at the same time.

Life is so fucking weird. One second I think it’s truly a magical gift from God and the next I see how horribly tragic a human life really is.